Adoption: Happy Endings?

Adopting or fostering a disabled child holds fears for many would-be candidates, but could disabled parents be the answer?

We all like to think that children – particularly those with physical, sensory or learning impairments – can live safely with the love and support of their own families. Unfortunately, this isn’t always the case. According to NHS figures, disabled children are nine times more likely to be “in care” at any one time than their non-disabled peers (though they rarely come into care primarily because they are disabled). Thankfully most will be returned – sooner rather than later – to their families.

According to the British Association for Adoption and Fostering (BAAF), there were 3,200 adoptions in the UK last year. How many of those children had “special needs” is difficult to judge, since figures aren’t collated to any single national standard. One report suggested that up to a quarter of “looked after” children in the UK were disabled, with the most profoundly affected generally placed with foster parents. However, a study of local authorities – admittedly conducted 10 years ago – found that disabled children made up 11% of children awaiting permanent placement with adoptive families.

Whatever the number, anecdotal evidence suggests one sure thing; it takes longer – potentially up to twice as long – for disabled children to be placed with an adoptive family. The reason seems obvious enough; one survey of potential adopters found that just one in eight (13%) would willingly take on a child with a “mental disability”, only one in five (21%) would say yes to a child with a physical impairment and under half (47%) would consider a child with a long term medical condition.

“Adopters today are far more aware of the complications involved in adoption,” explained Natasha Hidderley of organisation After Adoption, which provides a range of support services for all those involved in the adoption process. “Adopters are far more aware of the difficulties that adopted children can bring within families, meaning that disabled children can wait that bit longer.”

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In recent years adoption agencies across the UK have encouraged a wider range of people to come forward as adoptive parents, to better reflect the ethnic and societal backgrounds of children awaiting adoption. Does it follow then that Deaf and disabled people could be the answer when it comes to adopting Deaf or disabled children?

“For one family there were certainly some advantages,” explained Natasha. “A non hearing child was placed with non hearing parents and part of their feedback was that, as parents who understand the obstacles of communication and inclusion, they can help that child to feel less excluded and more included. Ultimately, however, this is only one family and needs to be seen in the context of assessments of who is best able to parent the child, rather than assessments of disability”

Jennifer Cousins, the Disability Project Consultant at BAAF, is equally wary of making such generalisations. Though she accepts that successfully dealing with their own impairments can make disabled people more adaptable and patient than their non-disabled peers, she agrees the focus on adoption must be how adoptive parents can meet the needs of the children. “I would never say that only disabled adults should adopt disabled children,” Jennifer told us, “because I think that takes away from looking at the individual, at their abilities as adults. What should be ‘good practice’ is an individual assessment.” In reality, though, Jennifer recognises that disabled adopters and children are already being brought together – just not necessarily for the right reason. “Disabled children often wait longer for a family and are more likely to get those families also experiencing discrimination. Although the research is missing, it is commonly thought that, because of the way prejudice often operates, there’s more likelihood that a disabled adult might be placed with a disabled child.”

That disabled people still make up a relatively small proportion of those coming forward to become adoptive parents is down to decades – if not centuries – of discrimination. “Disabled adoptive parents often rule themselves out,” admitted Natasha Hidderley. After Adoption’s Families That Last initiative has recently placed children with several disabled families. She accepts, though, the problem of perception. “There are still some concerns around a parent who has a disability,” she admitted, “but I don’t think that should be any more than a parent who has not. It’s about that person’s ability to offer a safe and secure and stable home life for a child, and these parents have clearly been able to do that.”

BAAF’s Jennifer Cousins agrees: “There is now a theoretical desire to widen the constituency of families who come forward to adopt,” she told us. “I’m fairly sure that disabled people are now being approved by adoption panels, which try to weigh up what people can offer and look at things more objectively. I think the barrier comes at the next stage; social workers actually find it quite hard to overcome prejudices about placing children with disabled people. What tends to be overlooked are the particular skills and qualities that each person brings, and what gets in the way of that is this wall of prejudice against certain groups of people.”

Nottinghamshire Adoption Service’s Julie Jackson certainly believes that disabled people should be treated fairly by the selection process. “It shouldn’t matter if you’re disabled,” she told us. “It’s about how you manage your own life, and how you would manage with a child who has their own individual and quite complex needs.”

However, it’s a mistake to think of adoption as simply a matter of equal rights for disabled people. “We do try to ensure that we can get a real cross section of the diverse community we live in, and which our children come from,” said Natasha Hidderley. “But it’s not just about being a carer; it’s actually about going on to form a family and finding the parents who will be able to best meet the needs of a child.”

“The starting point, which is quite shocking for any adult coming forward, is that no one has a right to adopt or foster,” added BAAF’s Jennifer Cousins. ““Whatever your background, it’s not your needs that we’re primarily looking at. Yes, we focus on your strengths and weaknesses, but it has to be child-led; we need to ask if you are going to be right for a child?”

Julie Jackson agrees: “The first priority is always the child, and the child’s needs,” she insisted. “Adoption is about what the adopter can give to the child rather than what the child can give to the adopter.”

The exact management process varies from one agency to the next but invariably follows the same basic patter. Following an initial enquiry, potential adopter(s) will be given a basic outline of the criteria to become an approved adopter – this will cover issues such as age (you must be at least 21 years old), relationship status and general health and fitness – the latter in particular being no automatic barrier for disabled people.

After an initial conversation, applicants will be provided with further information and an official application pack. Once this is received, and processed, applicants will then be invited to join some form of training course, which will be followed by numerous home visits over a period of at least six months. Serious reference checks (including work, family, friends and criminal records) will be made, after which a final decision will be made by an independently appointed adoption panel. The whole process can take between nine and 18 months; successful applicants will then join a waiting list to be matched with a child.

“It’s not a simple process,” said Julie Jackson from Nottinghamshire Adoption Service, “but having said that, people do do it, they come through it and they do go on to adopt.”

There’s s very little statistical information on disabled adults who wish to adopt or foster children, according to Jennifer Cousins from BAAF. However, she believes that while there’s increased recognition of the role disabled people can play in the upbringing of children waiting for adoption, levels of discrimination remain. Her tips for prospective adoptive parents include:

· Choose the right agency; ask lots of questions about your chances of a placement – will they “promote” you?

· Find ways of showing yourself as an individual, not a stereotype (use photos, friends’ comments, etc)

· Highlight particular skills and talents

· Make a video of yourself doing everyday things, especially with small children

· Ensure your “support network” of family and friends is genuine, local and robust

· Highlight your resilience in the face of adversity: this is your strongest card

· Consider becoming a temporary carer first – providing respite/short break care, sitting service, etc.

Major children’s charity NCH – the National Children’s Home – this September changed its name “to one that better describes what we do and we value,” according to a spokesperson – Action for Children. “From day one we have applied the very highest standards to all our work,” they added, “and this has led us to achieve consistently sector-leading results for the young people and families we work with. We will continue to do this under our new name, Action for Children.”

Have you ever considered adoption? Have you rejected the idea? Do you have positive or negative experiences of approaching adoption agencies? Share your experiences on our community forum at www.ablemagazine.co.uk