Most people have no appreciation of the role of a carer.

Someone recently told my husband that I was the most inspiring person they had ever met. That’s very nice but, without wanting to sound mealy-mouthed, is just a bit glib – and completely ignores our situation.

The most inspiring person is, in fact, my husband who – like every other carer in this country – is overlooked, forgotten and taken for granted. He’s the one who lost the life he knew when I became disabled; the one who gave up his job; the one who cooks, cleans and shops; the one who organises and takes the children on outings. He’s the one who puts the vacuum cleaner round the house, digs the garden, walks the dogs, bathes the boys, and does the bedtime stories. If I need him to, he’s the one who gets me out of bed, organises breakfast, helps me bathe and dress – or anything else I might need help with. He says he doesn’t mind but I know there must be times when he wonders about the route his life has taken. What happened to all his ambitions, and the career he put on hold – probably forever? I know that he feels it the most when people ask him what he does. Men are supposed to have great careers and are all too often judged by society on the size of their pay packets. “Tell them you’re a north sea deep sea diver or something,” I say. But he doesn’t. He’s honest. He tells the world he’s a carer. Unfortunately most people have no appreciation of the role – you don’t until you are there. For his all his trouble my husband gets £53 a week from the government, depending on a yearly assessment of his ‘needs’ – whatever that means. Regardless of politics, government after government has promised a better deal for carers but nothing is forthcoming – after all, it costs money and doesn’t really win votes. So my husband and thousands of carers across the country remain invisible, saving the nation a large fortune in care costs and getting nothing in return – their only reward being that they do it out of love. Although my husband wouldn’t have it any other way, I know he’d like a bit more money in his pocket and perhaps a few more opportunities to get away from it all – safe in the knowledge I’m not going to end up flat on my face with the boys running riot! For most people caring is not just about the 35 hours a week the government says you must do; it’s 24/7, forever and ever. So, the next time you’re looking to be inspired, think about the people who either help care for you, the family or friends who look after elderly parents, neighbours or children with special needs. And ask: when did they last get a day off?