Melissa Cassidy
Life is full of the unexpected for everyone but when you are disabled there’s always much more uncertainty when it comes to looking at your future. I’ve been disabled my entire life and will continue to be disabled for the rest of it and I’m totally fine with that, but it does mean that I never quite know what elements of life will be straightforward and what is going to take some effort to make work.
I’m scarily close to becoming a legal adult which means I want to rely less on my parents. This means preparing myself for the types of challenges that previously, they would have dealt with for me, such as coordinating my own support and handling all of the benefits I receive. This is pretty daunting to me because if anything goes wrong in these complicated areas, I’ll need to deal with them. It also means that I need to be able to advocate for myself wherever I go after school. I don’t want my mum coming to my college or university if there’s an issue with my support or teachers, however, this means I need to step up to the plate. I have never been a quiet person but generally, I’m used to my parents being there to deal with any disability related problems. Disabled people don’t really have the option to be ‘shy’ when it comes to navigating the world, because it’s rare that problems fix themselves.
As well as knowing that I’ll need to stand up for myself, there are so many question marks concerning my future. Will I live independently? Will I drive? Will I work full-time? For most, these are almost a given but when a disability is involved, nothing is ever a given. There’s also a terrible lack of role models in the media for disabled people so to even picture your disability sitting alongside your dream life is hard. It’s also about trying to remember that sometimes you will have to adapt your dreams to make them achievable; I know maybe I won’t be able to cook for myself and I might need someone coming into my home to help me, despite the fact I never really pictured that in my future. Having goals is always good but remembering that not all goals are achievable in the way you intend is painful at times.
How do I deal with all this uncertainty? The truth is, I can’t answer that because no matter what representation I see or what accommodations are out there, I don’t know what my future looks like. Right now, I’m doing everything I can to set myself up to be as independent as I can – experimenting with how I do different tasks and trying to build up the confidence to pursue any goal I see as beneficial. Sometimes having the question of what my life will be motivates me to try to stay in control of my present.
About Melissa Cassidy
Melissa Cassidy discusses topics surrounding disability as well as her own experiences as a teenager with cerebral palsy. She has also published a children’s book called ‘Doodle The Poodle’s Big Day Out’ (published by Alder Books).
Visit her blog at: buttonsandramps.wordpress.com
Twitter: @ramps_and
Instagram: @buttonsandramps
